How Do You Keep Them Coming Back?

I had a sweet visit this past week with a young mother of three busy little boys.  We talked while they dug holes to China, picked flowers and the baby napped.  She is a great and loving mother.  She is outside with them each day letting them be boys.  They don’t realize the nurturing that is occurring during this time.  They are creating memories and patterns for when they are fathers.  And they just think they are drawing chalk art on the sidewalk.

Then she asked me a couple of questions that have stuck in my noggin this week.  First ~ “How often do you talk to your boys?”  Well first I must tell you, my boys are married adults, one living a couple of hours west of us, the other living a couple of hours east of us.  So to answer her question, I told her that I talked to my youngest several days a week.  He has a lengthy commute home from work each day, and he would usually call me so that we can catch up.  I told her that I had just spoken with my older son the day before.  That we didn’t speak daily, but every week or so.  We do the texting thing often.  It works!

I began to recall my younger son’s college graduation.  The keynote  speaker (I know ~ he was actually interesting!) gave life instruction to the graduates that day.  The last point he honed in on was, “And Call Your Mother”.  The crowd laughed, but what a good point!  A mom just wants to know that their child is okay.  No matter how old they may be!  I realize the flip side of that coin, too.  I know some men and women who have critical mothers.  When they call they get a monologue on her end attempting to make them feel guilty.  This type of mom just does not want to recognize that her son or daughter has grown into a responsible adult.  She doesn’t want the cord cut, not ever.  In her mind, she must still be in control.  (and in my mind I’m thinking, “Don’t be that Mom!”)

The second question from this young mom, who obviously loves her baby boys and is aware of how soon they will be grown, “How do you keep them coming back?”  This touched my heart beyond words.  But having thought about it now, I would say to her, you need to do what you are doing right now.  Love them, create memories with them, have real conversations with them, support them, discipline them, give them boundaries, teach them how to treat others, PLAY and Sing and be silly (!)… will never feel complete in the task of being a mother.  As each of my boys graduated from highschool, I remember wondering, “What have I  missed?”  What did I forget to teach them?  Was there time for a mini-crash course?!  It took me a bit to figure it out, but “life” would be their crash course.  The ups and downs and highs and lows.  We try to be there for our boys and their wives through each step of it.  They know they can call anytime, day or night.  We love them.  And I guess that’s enough to keep em coming back, dear friend and neighbor.  Just like my folks did with me.  Keep doing what you are doing…..♥ It does go by so quickly ~

I Love you Madison and Malachi ♥ You didn’t get to choose your parents ~ but I’m sure glad God placed you in our lives ~

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14 Responses to How Do You Keep Them Coming Back?

  1. Christi says:

    I can’t speak of your oldest son, but have firsthand knowledge of the youngest and can only say “thank you” for the great job you (and your husband) did in raising such a fine young man. He’s a mess of the best kind and I am honored to be able to count him as a friend. I also know how very important his parents are to him. Hope you have a terrific Mother’s Day Paula!

    • Thanks Christi ~ that means so much. They are both “dears” and BOTH a mess, I am proud of them! Hope you have a super weekend! It was supposed to be raining here, but since it is NOT….I’m headed to Art in the Park. Happy Mother’s Day! ♥

  2. Jeannette Wynne says:

    Wonderful post! My husband is so good about calling his Mom a couple times a week. We live two hours away, but see her as often as we can. We’ll celebrate her 88th birthday this month. She raised 10 kids and deserves a big party!! Happy Mother’s Day to you and all your followers!

  3. This is such a perfect post for Mothers’ Day! What a great job you have done with your kids. You must be so proud. Here is a little fun fact–a recent study actually showed that grownup kids’ stress levels go down when they hear their mother’s voice! So, yes, kiddies, call your mother! Happy Mothers’ Day to you, Paula. You are a wonderful writer, and a wonderful mom.

  4. GMBlaxton says:

    Enjoyed the post. Happy early Mother’s Day! Love you, and will call later.

  5. Just beautiful!!!!!


  6. Dawn says:

    What a great story Paula. My wish is to keep my children coming back to us as well. Happy Mother’s Day sweet neighbor. Thank you for sharing!!!

  7. julie b says:

    I love it that they come “back” to a place that they never lived…that speaks volumnes! WB and I were recently pondering on where “home” is…subject came up after thinking about my Okie great grandparents who went to Cali during the dust bowl and returned to the exact place they had left. As we’ve lived in numerous homes and areas in our 30+ years of marriage we asked ourselves where we would come back to in the event of another dust bowl!!! Then we asked our sons where home was to them…1 son answered that it was wherever he was living at the time (!)…another answered that home for him was where we had been during his HS days…but the SMARTEST son answered, “Well, it’s wherever you and Dad are!” That’s obviously where home is for your guys…you done good raising them, Chicky…

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