Building Them Back Up

be kind amish

This week has been an interesting one.  My friend’s eleven year old daughter was assaulted on the school bus going home Wednesday evening.  Some high school boys proposed a dare to each other. Then one hit the little girl in the head and then in the face.  Mimicking the knock-out game, perhaps?  Her mom took her to the hospital where it was determined there was a concussion.  We all know that it’s so much more than the physical aspects she is dealing with now. She’s a little girl.  She’s frightened.  This makes no sense.  Trying to build back up what someone took upon themselves to tear down ~ her mama said. 

The support they are receiving from friends and total strangers is amazing.  Three Oklahoma Highway Patrolmen came to their house the next day. The troopers were so touched by her story that they went out of their way to give her a “OHP Protective Bear.” She was also presented with a “Junior Trooper Bravery Award” for displaying courage under stressful conditions. Building her back up…

Sadly, bullying is every day life. You watch the mom in the store with her child, belittling them.  Drive down the road and you are guaranteed to meet an aggressive driver. You read a post in an on-line news feed and it is shocking at how people address each other!  No filters.  No regard for feelings.  Certainly no respect.  Where does all of this anger come from?

And then there’s the workplace.  I witnessed the outcome of this as well this week….bosses that berate instead of encourage.  Is it their second nature, or is it expected as part of the corporate power game?   Building him/her back up…

This is the paragraph were I am supposed to offer a solution.  Well…there is one that’s been out there for a long time.  We just need to write it on our arm….and practice it.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32

That last part is the hardest. . . let it begin with me….

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71 Responses to Building Them Back Up

  1. sue marquis bishop says:

    This story is heartbreaking. Can’t imagine the little girls fear to ride a school bus again. This post bears repeating and the message can’t be said too often. What is happening in the growing culture of violence and disrespect. Sue

  2. says:

    I can relate to that little girl. I worked for years and years for attorneys who apparently felt that staff was fair game for their outrage. I was having trouble making myself look for work after a 2009 layoff. Then I was in a car accident that messed me up. I finally decided to just live off my IRA even though I would be broke when I reached 62. All of this hatred spewing out of people is a result of NOT reading the Bible and not trying to live an obedient life in Christ. Those who do attempt to live such a lifestyle know the joy that comes from having a relationship with God. We should pray everyday that more people find Christ.

  3. Tough week, I’d say. Love the verse you choose. Prayers for a very strong 11 year old.

  4. Rusha Sams says:

    A very sensitive post about what’s happening everywhere. So sorry for this child. Thanks for being so concerned.

  5. I was bullied as a little girl and it was terrible, but I got through it because I had a lot of support from my parents. They saw me through the worst of it, just by letting me know they love me. I think as parents, we can all do this for our children. It’s a start anyway, to dealing with the problem, but more needs to be done to stop the bullying.

  6. secretangel says:

    Bullying is so sad. I am sorry that this happened to this precious child… Thanks for sharing!

  7. I am sorry to hear about this awful and terrifying incident.

  8. mimijk says:

    These incidents are heartbreaking…and forgiveness is hard. Rather to integrate the lesson and ‘let it begin with each one of us’ – kindness, graciousness, generosity of spirit. Amen.

  9. I hope that if the boys were minors, then assault charges were filed against the parents. If they were at the age where they could be charged themselves, then them as well – but until we charge the parents, then not much will be done and these children will just grow up to be bullying managers who terrorize their employees.

  10. findingmyinnercourage says:

    This story is heartbreaking. My prayers in abundance to this very strong little girl. Bullying needs to stop and this story is a prime example of why. So true, “let it begin with me.”

  11. This is sad and very true. I don’t understand why people would choose to be so cruel. Great post!

  12. shreejacob says:

    Wow. I came across the knock out game thing on the internet…and it’s beyond my understanding as to how something like this could even start.
    I hope the little girl gets better…especially the mental trauma.
    Meanness I don’t understand…maybe it’s not our place to understand but faced with such news and stories maybe it’s our opportunity as a race to band together and learn to do what you say…practice being kind. Because we know what can happen in the absence of it?

  13. omtatjuan says:

    Stupid kids do stupid things… Jump off a bridge? Sounds good to me! I call it SKS. I call it stupid kid syndrome.

  14. a sad story with a powerful punchline! Thanks for sharing it.

  15. jmgoyder says:

    That is appalling – will those boys be prosecuted?

  16. Amen! She will continue to be in my prayers and on my mind! Thank you for sharing.

  17. artsifrtsy says:

    Wow. How can kids be so hard hearted? I’m glad your friend’s daughter is getting support and that she’s ok.

  18. lexa says:

    This is sad. My heart goes out to the little girl. As a child, I witnessed a parent bully people all their life. However, as an adult, I don’t allow the behavior in my presence. I’ve talked to this person but they don’t see it. Witnessing the damaging affects of bullying has made me more sensitive to the feelings of others. Yes, the solution is to be kinder, but also speak up when we witness bullies taking advantage of others and encouraging our children to speak up as well.

  19. bulldog says:

    This is so tragic… that bully boys pick on girls…. there has to be a problem at the home of these kids I’m sure… it is becoming a worrying factor all the violence on reads about these days… something needs to happen…

  20. ksbeth says:

    this makes me so sad to read. while the physical wounds will heal, it will take much longer for the emotional ones to dissipate. we all need to be a part of this solution, and refuse to be those who stand by any longer. we are teaching even the littlest ones at my school, the 3 year olds, the concepts of empathy and kindness towards others. somehow this has been lost.

  21. sharechair says:

    Just awful. I relate on two levels. First… before retiring I was an elementary school counselor and dealt with similar situations rather often. How sad that I did. And personally I remember a bullying incident via older boys when I was about the same age. They wanted to “read my palm” and then they pointed out a house in my future with a swimming pool …. and proceeded to spit in my hand. 5 decades later and I remember it like yesterday. I hope these boys are dealt with ……

    • Yes….hubby and I discussed several instances we dealt with, too. And you are right….one never forgets.

      The media, the local police, the school and the OHP are aware/involved in this. It cannot be quieted at this point.

  22. Rhonda says:

    I weep at the senseless and mindless acts of cruelty we are witness to all too often these days. This young girl is blessed to have you all, and as sad and tragic a way for her to be made aware of these things…she may grow to be one of the many angels that help put a stop to it in the future. Victims of violence who have a strong support system, become the greatest advocates for change. Prayers for her…xo

  23. When I hear/read/see these stories, I want to curl up and stay in my safe comfy chair, not leaving my home, protecting myself from the pure fear of what humans do to each other. Then I worry about my children and little grandchildren. Then I worry about everyone else’s children and grandchildren. And then I know that I have to leave my chair and go out and BE loving and kind (and forgiving), and hope that when each of us do that, we can spread the good stuff, and change the culture of violence and hate.

    • Years ago I witnessed a grandfather berating a little boy in Walmart. It broke my heart when I looked at that little boy’s sad face…and I got so mad, I started telling the grandfather that I had witnessed his unloving behavior as we stood in the checkout line. Then he followed me out to the parking lot and started berating me. It turned into a circle of people watching us and when I told the grandfather what I thought of his unloving treatment, the onlookers applauded me. I seriously think we need to point out this rotten behavior. Of course we have to worry about our own safety at the same time. My heart goes out to this little girl you wrote about today.

      • Good for you for speaking up….though it does seem like our world is so short tempered now….you do have to approach with caution.

        That little guy will probably always remember how you stepped up for him, Delores. ♥

    • I agree with you…thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Spreading the good stuff….it’s just the way it should be♥ paula

  24. This is a nice story… Thanks for posting this

  25. MommaBear says:

    Thank you all for all of your kind words, well wishes & most of all, your support & prayers. It’s been rough but with our huge support system & God, we will get through this & MAKE A DIFFERENCE. We can’t stand silent any longer! We have to take a stand NOW before something more serious than a concussion (although pretty serious) happens. Thank you all for standing with me. God bless each & every one of you. Thank you Paula for writing about this. You & your husband are amazing people. ❤

  26. Bonnie says:

    This is such a sad sad story of what happened, and at the same time one of hope – all of the support and encouragement that has come pouring in. But it should have never ever ever happened, and I agree, where does all the anger come from. I am so sorry for that little girl and what she’s had to experience, her life is forever changed. I saw the story of the three officers and didn’t know you were closely connected. I am glad they have you in their lives to bring this story to us in only the way you can. I witness the workplace version of this so often, it is sad in a whole different way. Thank you dear PSB for being a beautiful voice in the midst of all this! xo

  27. I have trouble with the justice versus mercy conflict in values and can never resolve it in my head.
    If only everyone acted with kindness, we wold not have to be torn apart by that choice.

  28. tchistorygal says:

    What a horrifying story of the little girl. You wonder what makes people do such cruel things to another human, a stranger who is defenseless. Thankfully she had a few positive experiences to offset the bad one. I hope as she grows older, she will remember the good ones, too. I still remember unkind words spoken to me on a bus when I was in 7th grade. I don’t dwell on them, but I remember them. How much more she will remember this. And others, who have had repeated dosages of unkindness from parents and others will know no other behavior, and will most like be the ones to act out in cruelty to strangers. Thanks for sharing, Paula.

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