stuff i tell my sister

I don’t know about you, but I hate getting the hiccups.  It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, it can never be at a convenient time.  At first you make the declaration to those around you, “I have the hiccups.”  Like they have not already figured it out!   Then they all join in trying to help rid you of them:

1.  Put your head in this paper sack and breathe.  paper or plastic?

2.  They attempt to scare you by yelling. but you know it’s coming, you’ve done this before

3.  Drink this water.  so that you can hiccup and possibly choke

4.  Eat a piece of bread. again, the choking!

5.  A spoonful of sugar to trigger the nerves.  okay…make it white icing and I’ll do it!

All attempts are to help you at first.  Then it becomes a challenge. A game of sorts.

I am about to reveal to you a secret solution to this occasional dilemma.  You will either be deemed a hero or a witch.  I lean towards the latter.  Simply ask the hiccup-or this question, “When is the last time you rode a white horse?”   p a u s e …….  and if they hiccup again or hesitate, add,  “Can you tell me right here, right now?  When was it?”  And if their answer is, “Well, I’ve never ridden a white horse”, then you ask, “Well, what color horse  HAVE you ridden?”  Yep….now you are just make stuff up.  Simply distracting them.   But nine times out of ten, this works to rid the beastly annoyance.

Case in point.  We lived in Bella Vista, Arkansas.  I was in line at the grocery store behind a young woman who had the LOUD hiccups.  Folks in NW Arkansas are generally friendly, so I thought I was helping her when I asked out of the blue, “Um, excuse me.  When is the last time you rode a white horse?”  I wish you could have seen the expression on her face!  She wanted to bolt.  Instead she answered, “Um, I don’t think ever.”  I was quiet for a moment, then said, “Your hiccups are gone now.”  She paid for her few items, looked at me, and out the door she went never saying another word or hiccup.  Yep.  I’m pretty sure she thought I was a witch.  🙂

I did this more recently at a photo lab here in town. The little cashier had the hiccups.  I asked the question.  Then I said, “Are your hiccups gone?”  Her response?  First she looked around, like there might be a camera or something.  Then turned to me and the other lady working there and said, “They are gone!  I’ve had them all afternoon!  How did you do that?”  And so I told her.  “I’m a witch.”  NO, NOT REALLY!  🙂

Have a great day today, my friends.  And never doubt the element of surprise! 🙂