stuff i tell my sister

This weekend is a pretty big milestone for my hubby and I.  When you are twenty-two years old and crazy in love and excited about the future…..well….let’s face it…you don’t really think that much about said future.  Oh sure you DO think about ~ buying houses and cars and furniture and vacuum cleaners and having babies and puppies and careers….but who really thinks, “Hmmmm….wonder where we’ll be in thirty years?”  But here we are….thirty years later.  A lot has happened.  MANY houses, states, moves, cars, furniture, babies, puppies, careers, ha~vacuums (!)….but none of it was exactly as we thought it would be.  I wasn’t always content…..neither was hubby.  If you are gasping and thinking, “I cannot believe she is saying this! What an anniversary tribute!” well then, you don’t really know me yet, or you haven’t been married long. 😉  A person doesn’t just wake up everyday, “happy”.  It’s a process….a mindset. A decision. And there are days that are sad and maddening or just plain gloomy.  Days you don’t wanna be you.   Days you don’t know who your partner is anymore! And most certainly, moments flash in your brain when you recall that someone once told you, “And you are marrying his family, too”.

But we never believed that our commitment to each other was disposable.  Even during the toughest of times, somehow we held on and stumbled through it.  We have had MANY really great moments.  And now, we try to laugh…and laugh a LOT! (our therapy!)

I tell my own married children that all marriages must be worked on daily.  There can be no complacency.  You will either grow closer together or slip farther away from each other. Period.  You cannot mark time.  I’ve been in both places. 

But enough with all of this reminicsing…..it is very difficult to find a “Hallmark card” for your spouse that can sum up thirty years.  I searched for one this week that would say, ‘We met, dated about two weeks, decided to get married, had little money or real plans, had some kids, they are grown, and here we are. I preferred it be written in an eloquent way, too! 😉 Plus, it needed to cover all the other “stuff”.  There is SOOO much in-between!

And to those acquaintances that said  we would never make it in our whirlwind relationship …..well, we did.  And we are.  Cause, somehow, out of all the guys out there, I picked the one that would: laugh at my jokes; take me to concerts he doesn’t  really like; (he slept thru a few!)listen to my made-up songs; hold me when I cry; leave me alone when I wanna be; teach me to dance; travel with me and eat at “dives“; respect me; go to garage sales; love my family most of them; be a nurturing & kind father  & provider; squish spiders; edge the yard; take me for snowcones and cherry cokes at Sonic; let me think I’m a better shot than him at the range ~ you just love me ~ I guess that pretty much makes you my hero, Marvin Blaxton.  I love you, too.  Happy 30^th Anniversary ♥